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How important is attraction in christian dating

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It's sad, and I didn't say it's right, but it's true.

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I am a single 35-year-old Christian female struggling to get Christian guys to see what marriage was designed to be.We need much more for a strong, healthy marriage, and it’s all too easy to be blinded to a person’s bad character or incompatibility by infatuation.I recently heard a man admit he’d married a beautiful ‘trophy wife’ and, years later, is being driven mad by her lack of intelligence and conversation (and that’s not her fault – the poor woman is who she is; he created his own misery – and hers – by marrying someone incompatible just because she was a stunner).I might say, 'No.' That is, if all you know or like about her is what you see," Segal writes, warning that Christian men should take things slowly and ensure that they know the personality, spirituality and emotions of the woman, instead of just her looks."Have you seen enough of her faith, her spiritual strength and maturity, her Christlikeness to know if her beauty is real and durable, or superficial and fading? As Christians, the most important attribute that attracts us to another should be godliness, Segal continues."As godly men and women, we should find godliness incredibly attractive.In fact, in our eyes and hearts, it should be the most attractive thing about the most attractive people.But that's only one piece of what makes people attractive, and it is not the main piece — nowhere close.

Mutual faith in Jesus Christ should be the most arrestingly attractive thing about any potential spouse," Segal contends.

Also, there are physical traits that you look for in a spouse in hopes of passing down to your children.

For example, height, athleticism, ethnicity, features, etc.

Is physical attraction so important that despite all the wonderful qualities someone may have, you just can't bring yourself to form a deeper relationship becasue you aren't "attracted" to them in "that way"? If everything about a person just draws you in..you're truly attracted to them. I dunno.."world" just seems to have the grand sweeping view that says "if you're not a super model then you aren't attractive".

I was going to pose this question for the ladies but then realized that it could be for guys as well. I think it is very important to be attracted to your spouse, but what is attraction anyway? I just think it's a little deeper/multi-faceted/personal. Physical attraction is about so much more than just appearance.

The associate editor of Desiring points to examples of how physical attraction can be flexible, as seen in the elderly couple who still finds each other attractive after decades together, not because they are actually physically attractive in a conventional sense, but because their love and appreciation for each other has grown over the years.